Monthly Spotlight: Stress

Do men and women experience stress differently? Many studies have suggested this is true. Here are some signs of how stress manifests in men versus in women.

• Men show signs of stress that are easier to ignore or hide
  • Fatique
  • Irritability
  • Appetite Changes
• Cultural expectations and traditional gender roles often reinforce the idea that showing vulnerability — or even admitting to stress — means weakness.
  • As a result, men are more likely to downplay or mask classic signs of stress, sometimes for months before anyone else even notices.
• Additional feelings may include
  • Muscle tension in the shoulders, neck, or jaw
  • Losing interest in social activities or hobbies
  • Isolating themselves from loved ones
  • Changes in weight, appetite, or sleep (either more or less than normal)
  • Difficulty concentrating, feeling restless, or on edge
  • Increased worry
  • Depression
  • Misuse of alcohol, drugs, or both
  • Engaging in high-risk Activities
  • Aches, headaches, or digestive problems without a clear cause
  • Obsessive thinking or compulsive behavior
  • Thoughts or behaviors that interfere with work, family, or social life

Here are some tips and tricks suggested to men to help take care of their whole selves:

• Validate your emotions
  • Identify, acknowledge, and then accept them without judgment- you are human and are allowed to feel what you feel
• Recognize the symptoms of stress
  • Like many of the signs listed above, how do you show your stress
    • “Men often present with more anger, irritability, and controlling behavior when they’re feeling depressed or anxious,” Dr. Borland clarifies. “That can affect the family dynamic in a potentially traumatic way.”
• Write about it
  • Writing in a journal is a private act for you- no judgement, grading, no need for correct spelling or punctuation, or even complete sentences
• Identify your support system
  • Who do you feel open to talking to? Who would be there for you?
    • You or your family or friends may choose a therapist.
    • Studies of male friendships show that men often have smaller social circles and fewer perceived sources of emotional support than women do. But Dr. Borland adds that sometimes all it takes is for one person to open the door to these conversations.
• Take time for your friendships
  • Try to fix that work/life balance, if that means you need to use a sick day (because mental health IS your HEALTH) to see a buddy to play DND or go for a run or just sit and play Xbox, do it!
• Identify unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • Think about the habits you turn to when you’re feeling stressed or sad.
    • This could be a form of escapeism, like drinking, gambling, too much time online, impulsive buying, etc.
  • If your unhealthy coping mechanisms are ones that you feel are within your control, work on scaling them back and replacing them with healthier habits.
• Embrace healthy hobbies
  • Hobbies can help give your brain a break from the stressors of everyday life while allowing you to tap into feelings of creativity and self-expression.
    • In 2023, a study of more than 93,000 people found that engaging in a hobby was associated with fewer symptoms of depression and greater overall happiness.
• Harness your breath
  • Breathwork can help move your body into a more relaxed and stress-free state.
    • Breathwork is also the basis of meditation, a practice that involves focusing or clearing your mind using a combination of mental and physical techniques.
• Move your body
  • Exercise can help keep the blues at bay by boosting endorphins, relieving pain, and reducing stress.
  • It’s even considered an effective treatment for depression — and it may be a preventive measure, too.
  • In 2019, a large study showed that physical activity is associated with a lower risk of depression.
• Tend to your physical health
  • Untreated mental health issues can quickly turn into a variety of physical health issues, too.
  • A 2023 survey by the Cleveland Clinic found that a whopping 44% of American men don’t get an annual physical.
    • These yearly wellness exams are an opportunity to build a rapport with your doctor and uncover hidden health issues that need your attention — before they escalate into problems.
• Seek professional Support
  • We’ve already discussed why you need a strong support system and people you feel comfortable having deep conversations with — but your friends and family shouldn’t double as your therapist.
    • You deserve to talk to someone who has the time, energy, and capacity to listen to what you’re going through and help you manage it.

Information gathered from the Cleveland Clinic and Texas Health.

Did you know women and men differ in how they respond to stress? Oh yeah, and here are some of the ways:

• Females of all species respond differently to stress than their male counterparts
• The stress hormone responses are greater, and stress hormone receptors are more sensitive
  • Higher incidence of stress-related illnesses in females may be caused by stress response differences.
  • Women also have higher stress levels than men on average
• This year (2023), people of all genders reported that health and finances were the top sources of stress.
  • But women were more likely than men to report feeling “consumed” by money woes (50% versus 44%), including those related to both essential and unexpected costs.
  • Women were also more likely than men to cite family responsibilities (58% versus 52%) and relationships (49% versus 44%) as key stressors in their lives.
• Women were more likely than men to say that they could have used more emotional support.\
• Women often have physical, emotional, mental, occupational, and social symptoms of stress:
  • Headaches, muscle tension, pain, skin issues, stomach problems
  • anxiety, depression, anger, mood swings, frustration
  • forgetfulness, worry, can't make decisions, boredom
  • lack of motivation, unforgiveness, doubt, guilt, despair
  • work overload or burnout, tense relations, poor concentration
  • Less intimacy, isolation, family problems, loneliness
• Women also happen to have a bit more severe effects of stress on the physical body:
  • severe or frequent headaches
  • heart conditions (high blood pressure, heart disease, and heart attack)
  • Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
  • Obesity (stress-related weight gain)
  • stroke
  • suppressed immune system

 Information from the Cleveland Clinic and the American Psychological Association\

Here are some tips for prioritizing and practicing healthy self-care coping strategies:

• Cognitive reframing
  • Say "I get to do this" instead of "I need to do this"
• Eat well-balanced meals
  • Not that you must go on a diet, but some diets have amazing recipes that will help you get lots of vitamins and minerals that will make you feel better
  • Many suggest meals from the Mediterranean diet
• Enjoy nature
  • Disconnect for a bit and go for a walk or build a snowman
• Exercise or participate in a physical activity
  • Usually, the endorphins and other chemicals your body makes while being physically active can aid in stress reduction
• Sleep!
  • They say seven to nine hours of sleep a night will keep you energized for the day
• Practice relaxation techniques
  • Things like yoga, meditation, or even just deep breathing practices can ease your stress
• Practice gratitude
  • Whether you write it down or say kind things to yourself in the mirror, you are doing fantastic!
• Schedule time for yourself
  • Do the things you enjoy! Play Sims, Knit, binge reality tv; everything else can wait an hour (or until tomorrow!)
• Socialize with friends and family
  • Let them know you are going through it, or maybe tell them a funny story, just make sure you let them know you care
• Start journaling
  • Write your thoughts, what you did that day, the lyrics to whatever song has been stuck in your head, the pages are yours
  • Sometimes people even start habit tracker journals to help make sure they are spending time and energy on themselves
    • Like making sure they stay hydrated or read a chapter of that book they left out for the past month

Mentally, though, try one or more of these tips for your mental well-being:

• Identify what is causing you stress: then create an action plan for it, and don't forget to say NO if you need to set boundaries for others or yourself
• Count to ten: walk away, take a few breaths, and count to ten. This won't be make-or-break for you.
• Accept and care for yourself like you do for others: remember, you have to put on your own oxygen mask first before you help someone else.
• Find social support: it is helpful to have someone to rely on for support when things get tough, be it a friend, family member, or therapist.
• Do a digital/social media detox: take a break when you can- remember that book you abandoned?
• Seek help: it’s OK to talk to a healthcare provider when you need it. They may recommend different resources to help you manage stress, like therapy.

Information gathered from the Cleveland Clinic and the American Psychological Association.

Oftentimes, you are told what you should do to relieve stress. Well, here is a list of what NOT to do from Harvard Health Publishing:

• Watching endless hours of TV
• Withdrawing from loved ones
• Overeating or rapid weight gain
  • Comfort eating
• Undereating or rapid weight loss
  • Poor dieting choices
• Sleeping too much
• Drinking too much alcohol
• Lashing out at others emotionally and/or physically
  • Oftentimes in outbursts
• Taking up smoking or smoking more than usual
• Taking prescription or over-the-counter drugs that promise some form or relief, such as sleeping pills, muscle relaxants, or anti-anxiety pills
• Taking illegal or unsafe drugs

Some of the stress-releaving activities between men and women are the same. So, here is a generalized list of things you can do by yourself or with a friend:

1. Do a quick exercise
   1. A burst of activity gets your heart rate up, and even if brief, will activate several neurotransmitters, including dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine, that enhance your mood and help cushion some of that anxiety and stress
2. Do something tactile
   1. Whether that’s popping bubble wrap, sorting your change jar to cash in at the bank, or making homemade slime with the littles, it brings you back into your body.
3. Give yourself a massage
   1. There are sensory receptors in the skin that send messages to our brain, signaling that it’s safe to relax
4. Point your brain at a problem
   1. If you give it a task to focus on, you’ll feel calmer and better able to deal with what’s actually stressing you out.
5. Dance like no one is watching
   1. A long-studied stress-reliever; It also engages the mind and brings on feelings of inspiration
6. Take a bath
   1. By changing the body temperature, it’s the full sensory slowing down—it’s kind of like rebooting a computer that has all these windows open and doing too much processing

See more from the American Institute of Stress.